Politics of safety, love and sex

Security is the abstract source of life. Besides the obvious things like food and shelter, security is the most basic element that affect how we live and love. Without it, real life and real love are not possible. And by extension sex and therefore family.

If you look at any of these things: safety, life, love and sex in terms of mechanistic transactions, they become objects of power and money. The true value of each is lost in the political confusion that ensues. It's easy to try to fix the outcome rather than the source of the problem: security.

Survival leads us to build fortresses that block out the world thinking we are safe. But true security comes from within and frees us to find truth in people, life and love. So if your fortress is built on nothing but money based relationships, the fortress is a house of cards that will fall when the money runs dry.

My security has more to do with infinity and zero and God. I lost it for a while because bad things happened to me and I became obsessed with finding the obvious outward solutions. But the problems were beyond my abilities to control them. I guess I was trying to find political solutions for my life based on the money, sex and power.

I finally realized that to focus on the outcomes and building my life based on them was the wrong way to find security. It must all start with security. I must feel at home with having nothing and no one to find the most basic thing the makes me feel safe. Once I know. I am free to build fruitful relationships by making choices that matter based on lasting values. Even better, I find myself embracing the world instead of trying to keep it out.

Once the important links to other people exist, I am free to build a secure loving life. By extension sex and family. Maybe I'll even love my work.

Focus on the mechanics of anything, they become reduced to politics. I'm feeling so secure because I know who to trust now.

More than you take

"Give a little more than you take..." (?)
This may be the key to happiness and meaning but runs contrary to the trends that drive our economy especially in hot money hot growing Hong Kong.

Thought I was the one doing the waiting

Savor: expectans expectavi dominum

For me, the past few months have been about waiting which can be agony if your focus is just on what's missing and can't see the solution. The  entry above is the best example of how I felt because I was missing lots of practical things. I wanted an inspiring solution and still do. Only now, if waiting is agony; I'm not alone.

I see the constant in my life and how the future can be created. It's an adventure or a dance like this song by Aretha and George. I know someone who loves me is waiting for me too perhaps in similar agony until I see that.

The song

"Knew you were waiting for me" Last half of the lyrics

(Chorus)
And the river was deep I didn't falter
When the mountain was high
I still believed
When the valley was low
It didn't stop me
I knew you were waiting
Knew you were waiting for me

With and endless desire
I kept on searching
Sure in time our eyes would meet

And like the bridge is on fire
The hurt is over
One touch and you set me free

I don't regret a single moment
Looking back, when I think of all those disappointments
I just laugh, I just laugh
(Chorus)

So we were drawn together through destiny
I know this love we share was meant to be

Better an unbearable you than to have you gone

A friend gave me another favourite (though a bit cumbersome) quote. "Better an unbearable you than to have you gone" which just means even though you frustrate me to no end ... but not to have you nearby is even worse.

If someone loves you like that. Don't let go! But if you love someone in that way and the "unbearable" person just wants to leave; do let go. 

The one who can withstand ultimate rejection without going crazy is godlike. ;-)

Intimacy, danger and celebration

One of my favorite quotes from a movie is, "Take chances. Be very bold." In the movie Julia about two friends struggling with life during world war two with a spying twist. Julia says this while saying good bye leaving the apparently weaker friend to deal with the danger. They never got to celebrate despite their deep friendship and facing a common threat. But those parting words haunted me as I went off to University leaving my safe teenage romantic years.

I feel like this is happening again. New eyes, new song, new boldness to look for joy, create and love. Taking chances boldly with the support of friends. But I want to celebrate... everyday!