Jail and the big blue sea

A Russian diplomat told me he felt stuck between a jail and the big blue sea to describe what he saw was coming after the Soviet Union dissolved. I never knew how deep the obvious irony was and how it spoke to fear and our self imposed limits until now.

Of course if you are released from prison to face the ocean, you swim right? But think about the dangers of deep waters, waves, sea monsters and the unknown and it's not a day at the beach. Both jail and the prospect of unknown future are things we like to avoid. See the irony?

I talk about my incarceration and most people want to write it off (as I would) to something horrible I did or a stupid mistake I made. Anything but think about losing freedom.

I wonder how free we really are? Even without being in jail.

I was locked up for 18 days and let me tell you being locked up was not the problem. It was the lack of recourse and the danger of violence that haunts me. Now the shock of the slamming gates (which still happens in Hong Kong everyday since most people put iron bars in front of the door), handcuffs and the fear of being hurt has finally subsided, I see how we all face "jail" of our own device.

I once had a dream about a bird in a cage floating on a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains. Of course I felt sorry for it until I saw there was an opening in the cage. He was there by choice. Good or bad, he did not want to fly. Are we like that bird?

If you read my past blogs, you would know I have pretty much lost everything I "earned" due to health and bad times. Having very little, I thank God for the food, my home, friends, the Sun, the rain...

Somehow I rediscovered the life that is here everyday above our worries, fears and lost dreams. To fly for humans is to taste life, take risks, love, hope, embrace...

I believe the most common bars we use to lock ourselves up is money. It took 7 years of living under a cloud to see that. Because now the bars are gone, I see how lovely the ocean is and how to build a boat with my friends.