Fear and parenting

I have no kids but do enjoy them. My visiting niece leaves joyful memories that light up my life. No she, like any person, is not perfect. Yet, I learn about life in its newness seeing her play and connect and not.

There are endless ways to interact with your children but I want to look at fear. I know many adults that fear (?) rejection from parents and live in umbilical dependence until one party dies. This is an artificial or narrow way of fear. It may protect but it also limits.

I have experienced a different way to be reared. Fear is somehow removed and replaced by assurance and love. I had both in my life which I remember to be full of light and enjoyable, eclipsing any negativity, until recent personal history which prompted me to write these blogs. 

They are full of my feelings which on the face of it are mundane and common place. Inside, I writhed the pain and fear and disappointment. Loneliness and dusk replaced my good memories. I felt people did not want me and it was hard. Every recourse I have learned seemed to fail. Friends in high places, low places, close places, recruiters, counselors, doctors, lawyers, corporate connections, strangers, investors, relatives etc. from all over the world. I used my languages, my achievements, repackaging myself, the Internet, publications, all kinds of media, free lance, charities, diplomatic circles, past allies, new colleagues.... Yes I'm tired just writing this and it's not finished.

Through all of this doing and searching, I got no response to my fear and loathing until I cried out of my darkness. It is in going through the dread and desperation that I am who I am now. I feel saved and free and bold. And that's perfect parenting.