My new normal

When I was down, the danger is that the digression becomes the equilibrium. It's a very geeky sentence.

Most people don't like change because it is so unpredictable. It's as if we believe the goal of life is to achieve a  completely risk free routine that runs like clockwork. Maybe it is because we fear a change is for the worse so we want to "cash in" and live as well as we are. Achievements seem like points or a badge of honor that we can hold on to.

I don't buy it. 

Life is more like the way our bodies work. After all of our experience is based on our physical existence. But our mind is very influential. Just take anorexia where someone's self image is skewed so much that they starve. If we don't grow, our bodies decay faster.

I'm not saying we can escape expiration when our bodies no longer function and we die. That is the only surety in life. Yet most of us just want to live a certain way the rest of our lives?

Even if we want excitement, so much of our behavior tends more towards stability and avoiding the expected. Go to school, excel, get qualifications, win awards so we can achieve some goal of living that we hang on to. For some it is fame, others security, wealth is popular... for me it is change which always have unpredictable results, therefore exciting.

Societies, companies, churches, clubs, families... any group function like our bodies. They are born and will end. While they exist, they will have ups and downs. But if the goal is to have no change, it is a sure road to some downward equilibrium.

I always wanted change. Physically, I found non-judgmental and inspiring modes of exercise that I like. I finally found out the right way to eat that makes me feel good and energetic. So after years of living, walking, working like the norm of industrial society, I am seeing a new normal.

It is growth in movement, in love, in hope, in inspiration, in friendships but also letting go of those who don't care and don't want change. Sickness is caused by stagnant situations that ignore our emotions.

Even in our old age, when we are weaker, slower ... things that make some  youth tremble and treat old people badly... we can still grow. There will be always our mind, our hearts, our lives can add something to someone, to have some fun, to enjoy, to feel passionate.

You see, stagnancy creates the worst ailment: numbness. When I felt numb during my convalescence,  I did all I could to stimulate all my senses. Finally, I see growth, more sensitivity, more passion...

Deeper feelings are both positive and negative. I cry and weep more. It's a pity that there is a myth that strong men "do not shed tears... only blood" ( common Chinese saying but a popular concept in many Asian cultures). Yet it is in the tears of change that we grow and learn to be strong.  This is my new normal.