Man in the mirror

There is a song by this name and this is almost a cliche theme in stories where the main character is trying to find the culprit only to find him/herself. But it's true. I've been complaining about how some close friends are depressed and negative while I've been trying my best to be relaxed and positive during down times. And it is true some are depressed.

But they also reflect me. As I really relaxed and let go of the "outcome of future performance" giving way to enjoying taking each step towards tomorrow, magically my close friends also eased up. This is a hard lesson and very difficult to apply because some feelings and prejudices are so deep, they seem cultural or traditional: something absolute. Surrendering any arbitrary basis for security is both hard and enlightening. I guarantee it makes one feel stupid.

I speak some Western languages, 2 Chinese dialects fluently and want to build on my tourist Japanese. I love getting to know the cultures behind the words, making friends and seeing how diverse we can be in dealing with the same issues in society. Leadership styles, politics, romance, family, power... it's intriguing and liberating but also disarming and makes one restless or insecure. One negative of culture is a collective prejudice and rules that we want everyone to follow in order to belong to a club. (The worst is when it's based on appearance and other genetic outcome.)

To be multicultural as I am, gives choice and dilutes the prejudicial hold of each culture but it also makes me feel less part of each club. Life does not become simpler and marks me as an outsider. I treasure freedom though and I love the bigger and more colorful world the many cultural sensibilities afford me.

I'm learning to see who I am in this maze of cultures I have had the privilege to know deeply. I love the human ingenuity that creates social and philosophical grounds that shape whole countries with both good and bad results. It's just now that I'm seeing myself in the mirrors of these cultures and how to face the man in the mirror. But more important: to see the man inside, the real me.